its been hard to express feelings and emotions in words. afterall words can only do so much.
yes words can sting, words can be used to describe something, someone, a texture, an emotion and many other things. but ultimately to see that something or someone, to feel a texture or an emotion, it has to be felt. it has to be seen and heard and experienced.
i've never been a fan for sappy love stories or hopeless romantics because ive always felt that that's all bullshit. maybe it still is. but i don't know, being a hopeless romantic or doing sweet, simple or thoughtful stuff can actually elevate one's self to be more appreciative to the ones they love. complacency tends to ruin everything.
when one gets too comfortable, they tend to forget, appreciate or go the extra mile. it's usually never the big things. it's the small things that matter. ive never thought i was capable of succumbing to more than one emotion at a time. never have i felt anger, disappointment, resentment, contemplative and appreciative, all at once. when i did, i realised what she felt. i realised the full-scale of emotions she felt. those bitter moments, the fights, arguements.
The state of ambiguity i was in made me realise things that were lacking in me. control. discipline. and more control. the lack of tact, to think for the other, to think about the other made me realise how i made her feel. afterall, these are just words. words to describe an event. ive always thought she'd be the perfect mother for my children. and i still believe that. maybe she realised i won't be a perfect father for hers.
call me naive, stupid or anything else, i do not care.
i've always thought we'd be the one going through one hell of a ride but ive always pictured us at the end, still standing.
call me naive, stupid or anything else, i do not care.
for any other i wouldn't think twice of walking away. i wouldn't think twice to just live and let live. i wouldn't think twice to just fuck it all. i wouldn't think twice of ignoring.
call me naive, stupid or anything else, i do not care.
tell me she's replaceable, and i'll fucking mind. i'll fucking care. because whatever it is, at the end of the day, she still is the most wonderful person i could ever hold close.

second chances are rarely handed out, no matter how sincere you are.
blame no one but yourself since you blew it all away.

am i happier with you

or are you unhappier with me?

which is the real question.

sojourn unto the deepest, unspoken truth where beneath the tranquil surface lies all the hidden emotions and
failed misgivings. where forgotten or stowed away induced by fear or respect i don't know. beneath the hard
written facts of  life are actually soft written lines of serene advice, one may follow, or disregard or.. just fuck it all? 

dont really know why this idiot of a boy is wasting his time on me. hiding behind this virtual facade and giving me shit. you ditched your girl. and now she's with me. going all nostalgic and shit wont help get her back. so why not try be a man and come to me and tell me straight up what's really bothering you. me being with her or the fact that youre not with her. gone are the days when i'll blow  and go all mad when this kinda thing happen. sometimes i wonder, why the fuck you left one of the most wonderful person you could have ever met. im guessing youre regretting and woke up thats why youre stirring this shit up but tell you this. even if its me against the world, ive got nothing to lose. and youre definitely not the world boy. you can say whatever you feel like saying, but save whatever's left of your dignity and self respect and for fuck's sake please dont whine and hit out like a bitch. claim to be a man but living like a coward. youre not even worth a flick of my finger. with all your talk and boasts that youre somefuckingbody all i can say is kiss this motherfucking malay mat ass.



now girl, smile for me

 

when Goldilocks became a serial killer.
perfect picture, imperfect
sceptical, resentful, divide
ying and yang collides